I'm A Jealous Asshole

I realized this today:
jealous of couples
of friends who have that "someone"
of those who don't have issues with attracting women
of most importantly of a friend who fits the description of the later

He is a long time friend -- since grade school -- who early on displayed a knack of getting digits of females beginning in high school. Out of our circle, he was the sharp dresser, probably the first one to get his (whatever that is), and just the quiet cocky one.

To this day he has probably dated more women than me, etc; Had more relationships where the female probably went ou tof their way for him; and seen more action in one year than i have in three years. I have seen women just come to him at places and just flirt hard with him without him even initiating anything.

And i get psst off cause it's like he takes it for granted. People think i am single cause i want to be. i don't get calls from females i meet and give my number too. or if i get their number i get the run around. I have had a crappy dating and love life. and i admire those i know who have or have had. But i guess some i really am more negatively looking at them for what they have that i don't

AND IT"S A BAD THING ALL TOGETHER

And i don't know if i should tell him how i feel. That i was it did come naturally for me -- to be quietly-confident and cocky, instead of unsure and ready to quit if her initial response doesn't seem receptive.

I do wish i was like him in that respect. It’s an honest confession. After over a year of drought and false starts with women i have met, i want to something nice to happen like someone approaching me for once instead of just glancing at me. I think i'm worth someone's attention.. I guess.

R.L.