Brown Street in West Philly

i was talking to Fa on AIM last night and for the first time in a long time someone said they appreciated that maintained my weirdness despite other people's not getting me.

and she called me a great thinker. Sean you have a good woman right there.

i can't say being weird has endeared me to everyone. and it's a thorn on my side since grad school when i use to cry when the other kids wouldn't play with me or

i can't wait till i can get paid to wallow in my weirdness like bjork or Michel Gondry, then it will be cool. Go figure you can be weird as long as ur a known artist or prominent person.

and i had my first anxiety attack at the Starfoods party last night. after lingering for 20 minutes inside i felt this urge to run outside as i stared people i knew and didn't know and felt like i would never be the one they would be all enthralled by. my body shook slightly and hugged my coat tightly asa girl i knew kept asking what was wrong with me. But i jetted outside and sat on the sidewalk against a closed up store for a few minutes, trying to understand why it happened.